21 Day Pure Water Journey: day 15

Walking into our waters yesterday was excruciating. Pain was seizing my body. It took absolutely everything for me to remain present. I did my very best to pacify the fight/flight/freeze response that was howling from every muscle and bone. She, our ocean, was testing my ability to trust Her and I was committed to meeting Her eye to eye, heart to heart. Was I going to pass out from this intensity? It definitely felt like I was. After wading out to the level of the solar plexus, my partner Stephan and I immersed ourselves into what felt like numbing, glacial waters. The frosted strong winds didn’t make anything easier. 

After remaining as long as I could, I stepped onto the shore in a total vulnerable state. I had nothing to hold onto and nothing to shield myself with. I was totally stripped of everything but my willingness to stay alive in the moment. I turned around to face our ocean………and suddenly everything had completely shifted. 

This was a moment I will always remember.
Suddenly, clear as day, a new living image of myself, my business, and my partner were directly in front of my face. These living images were so vivid it looked like they were painted in the sky and mountains in full detail. I saw myself in a new light (or shall I say pure light). What I was now seeing in me, my partner and my business, made my heart totally sing a song of long forgotten peace. What was not purely ‘me’ had melted away before my eyes, and I loved unconditionally what I saw, who I saw, and the trajectory she was on. I immediately was met with a great sense of peace, groundedness, simplicity, humility, and joy for being alive. 

I began speaking out loud, sharing my experience with Stephan. Inspired thoughts firing a mile a minute with my bare feet deeply rooted in the sand. I didn’t notice the chilled winds blasting me or my raw, red frozen skin. I was suspended in this living image. A veil had been lifted. This living image of me was here this whole time, but I could not see it before, because I was holding onto an old image or ‘idea’ of who I was.

Isn’t it interesting that I had to become so uncomfortable, almost paralyzed by our oceans to let go of the old imagery/identity? To get to a place where I could put everything DOWN and be vulnerable in totality, and really FEEL what was going on inside?  I must have been grasping that old image. I see now we all grasp at identity; we are all looking for worth, purpose, value, direction, and confirmation to all different degrees (and it’s ok we do this). What a joy it is to know we can end these cycles. 

Having this experience with and through the elements means everything to me and confirms my deep knowing of nature:

Spirit is the Land  
All the healing imaginable is in Nature 
Shelter, food, home, heaven are the Earth 
We came here to be Terrestrial and thrive in an Earthy paradise
We came here to cocreate this paradise together 

My definition of spirituality has changed so fast. The greatest gift I can offer the ancestors, my family, myself, community, future generations, and nature is being rooted and devoted to the pristine origins of Earth. Cocreating heaven on Earth for everyone. Let’s get our bare feet on the ground, hands in the Earth, and bodies in cold waters. Let’s cocreate thriving green fields of gardens that revive the Earth and heal our bodies. Home is where the heart is. Home is the Earth. Earth is the heart.