About sex

[Unknown Member]

Hi Lillian, I love this discussion. I find the topic of sex very fascinating because I grew up in a family where it was highly taboo. In my family culture sex was considered basically bad and wrong as a strong reaction to our society’s culture where it was all about physical pleasure and devoid of any deeper meaning.

I really aligned with Anastasia’s view that this experience is given to Man striving for “creation and co-creation.”

My own personal view of this is that cocreation is a powerful energy that can create a new child but can also create in other ways such as creating deeper intimacy. I’m currently single so I’m sharing more from what I feel in my heart to be true. To me there is a risk in a blanket statement like sex should only be to have a child. Perhaps I’ll change my view in the future but at the moment I think that once dogma is adopted around sex it limits possibility. I think this is how we end up all kinky haha

And at the same time I do hold deep value for the covenant of marriage. Yet if a marriage is set up based upon some set of external expectations rather than from the two people earnestly willing out of pure intentions to devote themselves to each other, again we run the risk of caging in our creativity rather than liberating it.

[Unknown Member]

Hi Alyssa thank you so much for participating in the discussion and sharing your thoughts. I resonate with what you’ve said. And yes, same, I come from a family where all things related to sex was hugely taboo and it was simply not talked about at all. Which was harmful, I think, looking back, and led me down some dangerous paths. I love that idea of creating intimacy.

And yes I think I read her words in a specific way but I went back to re-read that part and I see the emphasis on list versus love, like you said, and so I think it might be fine if my intention is based in love and connection…

And you’re so right about the dogma part! Haha I gotta shake off the old conditioning and not think in terms of rules, etc.

Thank you so very much 🙏

[dahVeed Montané]

Hi, Lillian –

I did not interpret Anastasia to say that sex without procreation is a “sin”. That sounds like an interpretation based on western puritanical thought. I think it will become more clear to you as you continue reading. Each book builds on the previous ones in the series of ten, so you have some juicy stuff coming up! The next two – The Space of Love and Co-creation – will expand on the image so that it will be more clear.

What is so clearly valuable to Anastasia is for a person, and at some point a couple, to have land of their own to create a mini-paradise of love and life, then to co-create a new being or beings into that space who will be born there, live there, and be buried there. This is in stark contrast to the way we have been mis-taught, that sex is the main goal in relationship. With this teaching, having money to buy sexy clothes, flashy cars, aesthetically pleasing but non-productive houses and yards, et cetera, are the means to achieve the goal of possessing the real prize – a sexy body with which to express your mental fantasies.

This explains why homosexuality becomes more prevalent in urban societies. If the goal ends with possessing a fantastic body, there is no need for that body to be of the opposite sex, because the goal is short-sighted in that it does not include having a productive legacy land for you and your progeny to enjoy in perpetuity.

This is similar to the quandary presented by this discussion:
“When we hear the word Tantra, we’re usually talking about Tantric sex. But this “sexy” side of Tantra is a Westernized and often commercialized evolution of a centuries-old philosophy and practice that emerged from Asia. While some of those original spiritual and ritual practices included developing pathways to physical pleasure and heightened desire, Tantra was originally about awakening the chakras and achieving the ultimate bliss: connection to the divine.” (From https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/truth-tantra/.)

Interestingly, the above article indicates that Tantra arose in the Vedic region of Asia, sharing the same origin as the Vedruss culture. Tantra seems to have been a return by the people to their roots in the face of dogmatic teachings by the monks and nuns.

Enjoy your continued reading of the Ringing Cedars series!

• This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by  dahVeed Montané.

yogajournal.com

Everything (And We Mean Everything) You Ever Wanted to Know About Tantra

It’s not just about pleasure, or sex. Tantra promises a closer connection to the divine through deeper intimacy with others.

[Unknown Member]

Hi DaVeed, thank you so very much for the response! I was feeling quite worried about this and so it’s very valuable to hear from other readers. That’s great to know there’ll be more info coming up in subsequent books!

Yup I’ve heard of tantra, I don’t know too much about it, though you’re right it’s been sexualized in western culture. That’s so fascinating to learn that it was in opposition to dogmatic religious people.

Asking that’s a rly great way of thinking about this, as in the order of things, and priorities, like you said. (Instead of manicured lawns and “sexy body” and mansion etc, choosing to create a space of with one’s soulmate- I’ll def choose the latter!)

It was a relief to read your response so thank you so much.

[Unknown Member]

Hello Lillian,

This question is an important one. Consider it carefully. But, do continue reading – there is much more on the topic later in the books. When you’ve read all the books and deliberated it a while, you might have the answer, or more precise questions.

In the meantime, there is something specific about this question (and a few others), which seems to have a lot of people giving answers as to what they “hope” is right, and of “what Anastasia meant” – that is, giving their interpretation. Why do we need to “interpret” words that have already been translated into our languages?

In the books, we observe Vladimir’s angry reaction when he understands that his “chief pleasure in life” has been taken away from him. Anastasia tries to show him it’s an illusion. So, too, it would follow, is the idea of “creating deeper intimacy” through sex, don’t you think?

I think that Anastasia is trying to warn us of the dangers of sex. And this applies to all sex, whether it’s lustful or loving or whatever form. I think it’s quite clearly stated in the book when she says that what the two of them experienced for her to conceive was different altogether. So, perhaps it’s better, rather than asking “is it bad”, or treating it as “dogmatically bad” (to paraphrase you and other’s answers’ words here), instead try to understand why Anastasia says it’s harmful.

I can see a parallel, just as Vladmir gets angry and really worried when he hears that “normal sex” won’t appeal to him anymore, so too are you worried that it is “bad” (am I right?) having read the first two books. And then Vladimir reassures himself, thinking maybe some doctors can help him, and you have said “It was a relief to read your response” in response to one of the other responses above. And then Anastasia tells him, Vladimir, your doctors can’t help you now. So, too, I would like to tell you: don’t try to fool yourself with this. You have a choice: if you want to go back to sleep and pretend that all you have read is nothing or lies (just please don’t try to bring others with you!), or if you want to explore what you’re reading, keep going and try your best to live as closely as you can to the guidelines in the books.

Although it may be difficult to swallow, I’m not going to apologise for being blunt here. I know it is not easy to follow many of these guidelines, especially when society is leaning against it. You do what you can. If you can’t follow it (for now, at least), then admit to yourself that you are not up to it at the moment. Don’t try to make excuses that you’re “not of pristine origins” or that the “dark forces are too strong”, etc. Not being up to it right now means you might be able to at a later time. These things are not easy, but they are important. I am able to do some now, and I look forward to the day when I’m able to do much more. I see it that the more of these guidelines we integrate and live by, the better off we, society and the planet will be.

[Unknown Member]

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Hi Matthew,

Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it because this is exactly why I posted the discussion: to hear what others made of the info. I didn’t know what to think of it. And I appreciate the opportunity to have an intelligent, adult conversation around it.

I think all your points are valid – except for the part about me misleading others, and if you think that’s my intention I ask you to reconsider.. I’m exploring this because it’s important to me and I care about what Anastasia says – and yes I agree I should think about this carefully, and your response helped me to dig deeper. So this response is lengthy but I wanted to lay it all out and would love to hear others’ thoughts on any or all of the following points. It’s divided into two parts. Part One is my trying to ascertain if all sex outside of procreation counts as sex in lust and therefore a sin and should be avoided. Part Two is my thoughts in the case all sex outside procreation is sin; that Anastasia is recommending that we be celibate except for when intentionally making a child. Part 1 and 2 are sort of contradictory. At first I got started writing part 2, then I got busy, and then had more thoughts and came back and wrote part 1 and then went back to part 2 and finished it. Part 3 is what I wrote after I went back and checked the book. For those of you who want to save time, reading just part 3 could suffice.

…

Part 1: sex in lust : is there sex in love, without trying to make a child?

She clearly says “sex in lust is a sin”. But she doesn’t clearly ever say “sex outside of procreation is a sin.” So I guess what I was trying to get at in my original post content is, what counts as sex in lust?

Before meeting Anastasia, Vladimir invited women onto his ship and flirted with them and it sounds like he had sex with them- or as I would say is more apt for the situation, fucked them. Because there was no love, no knowing the person, no real regard or care for the person. And afterward it’s good bye. I think we can all agree that’s sex in lust. And I can say from experience that that kind of sex is hollow, and I can indeed agree that the “pleasure is an illusion” like Anastasia says, and “harmful” like you said.

At this point as I wrote this I was like let me google the exact meaning of the term lust. It says “very strong sexual desire”. So .. perhaps we can say that “sex in lust” is “having sex for the sake of having sex”, or like, only for the physical pleasure.

And that’s why I’m thinking about this and it doesn’t seem exactly clear cut to me, because when I have sex with my husband it’s not for the sake of having sex, for the physical pleasure. At least, not only for that. Like, it won’t do to just do it with anyone. I think Anastasia says it too in book 1 when Vladimir tried to rape her, something about “someone who’s the only one for her”. So if a committed couple makes love, (as opposed to strangers fucking), does that count as sex in lust? a sin?

Now, I get that it could very well be. After all Anastasia says something like “even in marriages” or like “many laws and social structures have been created to uphold this illusion”.

So even if it’s a loving, committed, loyal couple, if they’re having sex and if there’s a desire to satisfy a sexual urge, then perhaps it can be considered “sex in lust”, and Anastasia would not recommend it.

Although that seems difficult- to have sex without any sexual desire. Like we can’t argue that sex feels good physically and it’s impossible to not anticipate that going into it or like it. I mean it sounds like Vladimir’s experience with Anastasia was very pleasurable, although in an unusual way (I wish he explained more, although I respect the privacy too).

So where that leads me is, what’s advisable is to have sex with the strong desire to have a child, rather than a strong desire to just feel good in one’s genitals.

I’m still not sure if sex with a strong desire to connect with one’s soulmate is okay. In fact, I think it’s okay. I’m just not sure what Anastasia will say about it. Maybe she’ll say sex isn’t necessary to connect, and be intimate?

But wouldn’t that be like saying you don’t need to hug to feel connected to someone? True, you can look them in the eye and smile, or talk, and feel connected. But a hug is nice too. I feel connected when I hug. And I think of sex in a similar way (when with my beloved- not with any stranger).

Now, I could be totally wrong. Sex outside of procreation could be harmful, no exceptions, no matter the intention or whatever. I’m not saying this sarcastically, I’m truly convinced that I can be wrong and I’m trying to think things through. (Unfortunately I don’t have super speed mind like those in Anastasia’s world). Also of course i have a lot of conditioning to sift through.

Another point I’ve been thinking about is what she says about child conceived from sex in lust, like, she says no one would want to be the product of lust. I can agree. Now here’s a thought; what if a couple was having sex regularly, but with a strong desire to have a child? Like, let’s say they were having sex before they decided to have a child together, and let’s say they’ll continue to have sex after having that child. But once they decided they want to have a child together, their sex was intended for that (and pleasure too). Does that count as being product of lust, like, if it was intentional and they were actively trying to conceive? I don’t think so.. but I also think it could be that Anastasia is referring to the relationship as a whole. And she might say that such a relationship is based on lust.

I just want to clearly state that I’m not trying to put words into Anastasia’s mouth. I’m trying to think through this and wish I could ask her these things, but i can’t so that’s why I’m wondering out loud and asking for fellow readers’ opinions.

…

Part 2: My thoughts in the case that Anastasia is indeed recommending us to have sex only for procreation:

Even if I don’t understand it completely in a mental way, what made a big impression on me – and made me want to consider taking her advice on this – as I read the books (like that very part in book 1, and in book 2 when grandfather points out the “illusory people” and the girl wearing high heels) was the purity of love.

A thing to note is that, like you mentioned, Anastasia said something along the lines of, “now that you’ve experienced this you won’t want to have sex again”. I guess one reason it’s hard for me to understand it all is because I haven’t had such an experience.

But as I was writing this out and thinking about it, a notion occurred to me: Anastasia turns around and says to him, (not exact words cuz I can’t get to the book right now), “was that what you guys call ‘sex’ in your word?” And Vladimir thinks, “indeed, no. Then, what was it?”

This makes me think, in a relationship of ideal, pure love, there is no place for “sex” as we know it. Like, even when they “have sex” for procreation, it’s not sex as we know it.

Also, part one above was about sex in love, but Vladimir says to grandfather, I think, that he doesn’t love her in the usual sense of love. So it’s possible that what’s normally considered love in our world is not pure love, it’s more lust.

I try to imagine how it’ll be to be with a man, knowing we won’t ever have sex except the one or few times to have a child. How it is to be with a man knowing he’ll never expect sex from me. And I think that could be freeing. Even healing (after all the sexual darkness we go through in this society!). Though it’s hard to imagine how it is. That’s partly why I opened up this discussion post, to see if any readers have actually implemented this, and how they feel about it.

One thing I can say is that I certainly don’t want to be loved by a man based on the sexual pleasure my body can offer his. That’s like being objectified. I want to be loved for who I am. I think my husband loves me for who I am. Although he enjoys the sexual pleasure too when we have sex. But, if I were to somehow become not able to have sex – let’s say I get into a car accident and lose the whole lower part of my body – he’d still love me. But if I were to choose to – even though I’m able to – not have sex with him, then he’d feel upset, because he wouldn’t understand why not. And I won’t be able to give a good explanation except “just because Anastasia says so” which I think is the dogmatic part that another commenter mentioned, and that’s why I’m trying to tackle this topic and really understand it rather than just like following a rule.

Side note about being objectified. Reading the books I got the impression that when a woman gives in to having sex other than for having a child , it’s like giving herself away.

We give massage. It eases tension, gives relaxation and pleasure, and connection. We do it out of love. I think of sex in a similar way, like a giving and receiving. I’m not sure how that ties into objectification and sex in lust…

Part 3:

At this point I remembered that Vladimir kissed her right before they “had sex”(although we’ve established those words aren’t appropriate for the experience they shared). That made me think, ok, we’re not talking about old school Protestants(?) who didn’t look at each other when having sex and did it with their underwear on, because it was supposed to be only doing the bare minimum for creating a child, lol.

And then I went back to reading that part in the book. (I should have done this from the beginning, eh?) p.60- 69 from book 1.

• He didn’t feel aroused with fleshly desires even when he saw her naked
• He was haunted by the prospect of a son
• He felt excitement and satisfaction from the experience (sex without lust can have those things)
• There was something in her that belonged not to a single woman I had known (I think that’s purity)
• “Only men and women sincerely desiring to have a child between them”: so yes, it seems like she’s saying sex is only for that occasion. “To give of yourself so that a Man can come into the world” So it seems that’s the only time a woman should give of herself, more for the child rather than for the man having sex with (that’s just my interpretation)
• “To experience God-given grace.” So to refrain from sex is for this purpose, to experience that grace when conceiving a child .. saving sex for that
• Real satisfaction can’t be easily obtained just from physical desire
• “The poor deceived women who ate ignorant of this, spend their whole lives accepting nothing but suffering and searching for the grace they have lost. But they are searching for it in the wrong places. No woman can restrain a man from fornication if she allows herself to submit to him merely to satisfy his carnal needs. If that has happened, their life together will not be a happy one. Their conjugal life is only an illusion of togetherness, a lie, a deception accepted by conventions for the woman immediately becomes a fornicator, regardless of whether she is married to the man or not.” P.63 Ahh this says everything. Yes, now I’m convinced that she is indeed saying that sex should only reserved for when desiring to have a child.
• Children sense the falsity of union.. ouch!

Reflection: so, according to the books, my union with my husband is a false one. And our child was born of that and is aware of that. What a painful thing. If I can give myself some slack, I didn’t know of this book before.

Although I’ll still say, it was not “as a result of carnal pleasures ALONE”. We do love each other… even if it’s not perfect or pure. And good news, she says there is a way to correct the situation (in response to Vladimir’s question); “mutual striving to co create. Sincerity and purity of motive.”

So even if a couple started out as a false union they might be able to get back to “right track” if they abstain from usual sex and adopt a pure mind and have a sincere striving for co creation…

On a personal note I don’t think this can happen with my husband because he hasn’t even read the book yet and even then I doubt he’ll want to change. But my blessings to any couple who does this.

“Sex by itself (my insertion: probably to mean, without desire to have a child. Since “love” can be fake, as explained in previous statements about false union) is very bad. Leads man away from truth, destroys families, enormous amount of energy wasted”

Energy: that’s something I thought about but didn’t write before. I was thinking when I wrote the previous parts, how “but oh, sex is how my husband and I exchange energy.” But according to Anastasia it’s being wasted. Makes sense, since sex has the power to create life.

•darkness acts through women, exploring their beauty. Ok now the Adam and Eve and the Apple story makes more sense!

•OMG THIS PART! Page 66. “It IS absolutely necessary (to overcome these dark forces’ influences)” and the people who can do it are “women”!! Me!😭

Ok bye for now everyone who’s reading this, about to go piss off my husband by telling him I’m never gonna have sex with him again, be right back🥲

… just kidding, not going right this minute, I’ll finish writing this and have to think about it.

“Is possible only when you desire to have a child and the woman wants the same from you. When she loves you.” I do love my husband. At least I think so. But we’re not desiring a baby now. We just had one recently, for one thing.

“That can happen only a few times during one’s whole life!”

Response: “that is enough for your whole life to be happy.”

There, she’s settled it! I must say, Matthew, you’re right. (If you’re still reading this long thing)

“I have helped save you from a terrible, harmful and sinful appetite” maybe she’s trying to help me now too.

…

Ok, so, reading the book like that, and following her argument step by step, everything makes sense and I’m convinced of what she says. But practicing it in real life is a whole another thing. I still don’t know what to say to my husband. Poor him. And I’m afraid of looking like a fool, to a crazy person, or not caring and mean. I’m even more afraid of regretting this if our relationship is to become very bad because of this. Well then, you might say, it was a false union anyways. Even then, I love him, and through the ups and downs we’ve had we’ve tried to hold on and create a happy family, for our daughter’s sake too.

And that worries me too, about my daughter. If I want to pass on this info to her, shouldn’t I model it?

Well there it is ladies and gentlemen. My thoughts so far. Not sure what I’ll do with it. I could spend the rest of my life not acting on it, keeping up the status quo. I don’t know. Will see. Thanks for reading.

[Marinne Frey]

Hi Lillian,

I’ve thought about this quite a bit as well. It’s difficult to acknowledge you’ve done something wrong or harmful in the past but as with Vladimir’s experience you can heal and move on and find deeper meaning and a true purpose.

For example, I got irritated when hearing eating meat is harmful. I didn’t want to believe it since I used to eat a lot of meat. I justified it to myself by only eating 100% grass fed beef or pasture raised pork/chicken but at the end of the day a life taken is a life taken. I now realize the purpose of each animal is unique and they have been created to help us. God meant for us to eat the bounty of plant foods supplied to us. Why would you ever go to the trouble and violence of killing if you were surrounded by food? This is not the case for most of us anymore but we can get back to it!

Back to sex though, even Vladimir admits that he has no desire to have sex, even though it was one of his favorite addictions previously, after experiencing co-creation. I think most if not all of our coping mechanisms/addictions will pale in comparison to co-creation. What could be more important? More worthwhile to spend time doing?

You have most of the series to go and you will get a better sense everything as you go. A truly healing experience!

[Unknown Member]

Aw Marinne!!😭 Thank you so very much for this message, I’m going to read it again and again and again when I feel confused or scared.

I can relate so much to the meat analogy. I’ve been eating according to Medical Medium teachings for a couple years now, and it feels like the most normal, best, freeing thing for me, but sometimes I remember how abnormal and restrictive this looks from outsiders.

And so I can imagine that, once I fully accept this abstinence practice, I can start to feel more comfortable with it and like you say that it could be very healing. That’s why I’m drawn to it in the first place, because I am attracted to the purity of love that’s expressed by her words and also when I try to imagine how a relationship is like without the pressure of sex.

The big difference with the meat analogy though is that it involves another person(my husband). Like, with my eating , I just do that myself and he eats differently and we both respect each others’ choices. But when it comes to sex, well, it takes two people. And it affects the relationship. So now after reading the comments and also going back to the first book, I’m convinced of what she says and what you echoed. But I’m still very afraid to go out and tell my husband I’m not going to do it anymore. I’m afraid it will completely destroy the relationship. Maybe it’s meant to be destroyed, if it was based on such illusion. But I wanted a happy family life for our daughter. But, for the sake of being a good model to my daughter too maybe it’s even more important that I live this practice of abstinence…

Some thoughts to share.

[Marinne Frey]

It would be ideal if your husband read the books with you then you could figure it out together. I have a feeling all your worries will be answered and you will know what to do once you are done reading the series. 🙂

[Unknown Member]

Thank you Marinne! Yes I’m going to gift him the book for Christmas. It seems there’s only the first book available in Spanish on Amazon, I was hoping to find more because it took me reading the second book to get over the conditioning and come to accept/believe what she says about sex. But now I’m fully on board and I wish to have a relationship like she says. Anyways, even if there are subsequent books available in Spanish, I’m not sure he’ll read it anyways, even just the first book. But I’ll do my part to gift him the first book. And even if he doesn’t read it or agree with it, well, I’m not sure, but at least for now I’ll keep thinking about it and reflect on the messages I’ve received🙏

[Unknown Member]

The first 3 books are available in Spanish on Buscalibre. I got them delivered for my Peruvian friends there.

On the Telegram channel for Spanish readers, someone shared a link to the first 4 books as PDF in Spanish.

[Gabriel Miguel]

I’ve added the first 6 books in Spanish to this folder here: https://anastasia.foundation/books
I only have 6 books in Spanish.

anastasia.foundation

Ringing Cedars of Russia Books - Icedrive

Ringing Cedars of Russia Books - Icedrive

[Unknown Member]

Thank you Gabriel!

[ward0192]

Hi Lillian,

As the others have said, the later books go into more detail about sex/union. A few things to add, each person we are with, we take a part of them with us, good and bad. And if our partner is with many people, they bring those people’s energy with them. Anastasia does give a good description on how to break the ties you had with past partners. I forget which book it is in. Other spiritual teachers talk about cord cutting. I think this can be helpful, along with purging of the energy from those people.

As far as your current relationship, I think you can get to this transcendent experience by coming together to co-create. We generally think this has to result in a child but it may simply be sending out your energy into the universe as they say sex is a huge portal, one which the dark side wants to tap into. I’ve heard that priests in Atlantan times were single and channeled sexual energy into creation such as creating crystals. So if you feel obligated to have sex or feel that one partner is using your body for their purposes, this is not co-creation. And focusing on the fleshly desire will lead to a less than satisfactory outcome for both people. I think this is where people start to look elsewhere to find this connection. They will never find it no matter how many people they are with, if they simply focus on this lust. They will continue to feel this lack of connection, which they intuitively know comes from sex. And the more people they are with, the harder it will be to get this connection.

Another huge thing that affects every aspect of our lives is love for ourselves. As the saying goes, love your neighbor like you love yourself. But if you have little to no love for yourself, you will have little to no love for someone else. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Not that you don’t feel love for others but you will constantly be looking outside yourself for someone to love you. It will be difficult for others to fulfill this for you as each of you is trying to pour from a half filled cup.

Hope this helps. And there are no wrong answers, regardless of what you decide.

Amber

[Unknown Member]

Thank you Amber for adding to this discussion! It’s so helpful to hear what others made of the info